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Arrivederci Roma

In una umida giornata d'autunno, Roma mi accolse con una pioggerella sottile, intermittente, che veniva giù da un cielo color acciaio. 

Quella mattina feci il mio primo giro per via Tiburtina armata di un ombrello e di tutto il mio sconforto. Mi servivano detersivi, cibo e svariate cose per la casa, ma sono certa che se solo avessi avuto qualcuno su cui contare, qualcuno che si prendesse cura di me, non sarei mai uscita dal mio guscio. Non quel giorno, quando mi sentivo così sola e abbandonata a me stessa.

Veduta Night of the Colosseum

Yet even at home I did not feel at home ... and the rest as I could, it was all new, completely unknown and terrifying. Perhaps I exaggerate, but I'm not a suitable person to change. I like to travel, of course, meet new people and immerse myself in the cultures of the places I visit, if only all that hard a time, then you go home, friends, loved ones from things, from my books and my goldfish. I later discovered to have a natural habitat, as animals . And there's nothing to do, I'm fine just there. Perhaps for the first time in my life I understood the meaning of the term "sense of belonging." Indeed no, the first time was my first love, but not digress.
return to Rome. I bought what I had to buy, dispensing smiles to shopkeepers and cashiers to beg a little 'quell'affettuosa of warmth that I needed, and went home with two Buston of stuff to fix. Began commitments, ran panting up and down to take the subway, the morning china computer for a bit of concentration and evenings spent talking with the occupants.
One thing struck me immediately to Rome, or rather, its people, do not say Romans because many of those I met were almost certainly out of Italian and foreign citizens or commuters adopted does not matter. They shared a glance lost in space, empty and resigned.

Some will say that it's all my imagination, but this time I do not think so. People in large cities (obviously not the tourists!), Especially the people you meet on the metro and buses in the morning or evening, it is sad and frustrated, nervous Torque tube loose, and just a trifle to snap: Oppose ' immigrant in turn, against the jaywalker, traffic control and bus drivers.

It seems obvious to say a huge stating that it runs up and down like crazy, you Sgobba for hours, often without even a glimpse sense in what you do, only to lose sight of what really matters, and trovarsi con in mano un pugno di mosche.
Ecco, a me questa cosa mi ha terrorizzata fin dall'inizio. Non intendo generalizzare, ognuno è fatto a modo suo, io ovviamente parlo per me e per ciò che ho provato, direttamente e indirettamente. 

Un giorno ho capito che se fossi rimasta lì mi sarei persa per sempre. 

Non so usare termini più chiari per descrivere come mi sono sentita, dovrei raccontare nel dettaglio vicende e vissuti personali che non ho voglia di rendere pubblici. 

Io credo che il corpo possegga una sapienza profonda che a volte la coscienza non è in grado di interpretare, oppure, quando ci riesce, non vuole assecondare. Well, if only by listening to the body without too many prejudices, without being blinded by expectations, ambitions, rules and obligations, I think we will almost always in the right direction. Every single cell in one direction and I pointed out to me after a while 'I followed the resistor, why not follow it would mean going against myself, and what I did for too long not to have learned their lesson.
takes so little to be happy, so damn low that at times one wonders why some people seem to almost come to an effort to be unhappy.
Rome made me understand many things, made me love and appreciate things that previously did not give the slightest importance, made me realize that sometimes it is necessary make a drastic choice ... and I this time I chose to be happy, because I know I deserve it.
Choose to be happy is never a defeat, because whatever you're forced to give compensation, it will be worth more worthwhile.